46forum presents: The Quarantine Relaunch
- dndariusnorman30
- Mar 26, 2020
- 3 min read
Old Skool Joe: I gotta be stuck here with you motherfuckers! They just closed down the Fish Joint. Talking about we need to stay home. What the fuck is a Corona virus?
Pink Panther: Don’t you watch the fucking news?
Old Skool Joe: No, I don’t watch that shit!
Pink Panther: Well they closed everything down.
Old Skool Joe: Even the liquor store?
Pink Panther: No, the liquor store is still open.
Old Skool Joe: Good there’s no way I could be stuck with you fuckers in dry county. You know what I’m saying?
Pink Panther: Yeah there’s plenty of liquor and weed. Can I actually have everyone’s attention, I think we should take this time and maybe write some articles. I need you guys to put up some fresh content, you know make this thing look legit. Do you think money washes itself? It’s time to do a relaunch.
Old Skool Joe: How are you gonna relaunch some shit that never launched in the first place.
Spaceman Jones: (hits bong) Pinkerous can we do this a little later I’m watching 90 Day Fiance.
Pink Panther: I don’t get it. Wouldn’t it be easier to hire a hooker at a monthly rate?
Old Skool Joe: Seriously though.
Spaceman Jones: Oh shit son! I knew it, this guy David buys a lot of hookers, but he doesn’t like very good looking ones. Damn his boy Chris sends him mad loot for Thailand hookers. That’s a good friend.
Pink Panther: Guys can you cool it about the hookers for like five minutes! I really would like to discuss this relaunch.
Spaceman Jones: Alright Pinkerous I’ll bite. What are these grand relaunch plans?
Pink Panther: Well gentlemen, I’d like to take advantage of this age of internet misinformation and start drumming up fake news stories. With this virus going on we can really spread panic. Then we start advertising these new miracle pills and make a fortune.
Spaceman Jones: Oh shit, it’s back on! Aw man this fat bitch with the Dominican guy is just the worst. But in a way… I kind of feel sorry for her.
Old Skool Joe: Yeah you can tell those kids have seen many a man sneaking out the back door, and her in tears.
Pink Panther: Can you guys please fucking focus!
Old Skool Joe: Man no one wants to hear your Dr. Evil bullshit right now.
Spaceman Jones: Yeah I’m not cool with that either. Plus that seems like a lot of work, just doesn’t seem like my thing.
Old Skool Joe: Spaceman fire up one of those weed bags. Look at this bitch sending her Starbucks check to the fucking Taliban! Hey Pink Panther how come we are the only ones at this meeting?
Pink Panther: We have a few members on kind of like a sabbatical if you will. I can’t really talk about that right now. Look they will be back, or they won’t. I just need you guys to write some more in depth fake news stories. It’s time we made the transition from fake magazine to real one, because in this day and age…what’s the difference? I’m talking about making a real impact here.
Old Skool Joe: Man, fuck all that! You said we could smoke weed and watch TV, so that’s what I’m doing.
Pink Panther: I never said that, you said that.
Spaceman Jones: It says that on the website.
Pink Panther: I need a drink. Meeting adjourned.
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