Nikki Free Fills Out A Bracket

Nikki Free doesn’t know much about sports, but she’s been threatened to lose her fake job if she doesn’t fill out a bracket.

(They would never really fire me. I’m the only one with boobs at the office.)

So it’s a drizzly Tuesday and Nikki Free is sitting at her desk (her daybed next to the window) with her ferocious dog Goliath keeping guard.

Nikki Free is tempted to make uneducated guesses based on the tiny numbers next to the team names and her thoughts on the states of which each team comes from, but having lived a few brief years in Kentucky she does know one thing about basketball. Kentucky is awesome. Which is probably why it has a little one next to it. Well, it’s decided, Nikki Free will make uneducated guesses based on the tiny numbers, but every now and then choose a higher number to throw people off. (For example, Ohio State is my favorite college football team, so why shouldn’t the basketball team make it to the sweet sixteen. And Gonzaga is fun to say – so onward to the final four!) Nikki Free’s logic is fool-proof. Also when the decision is really hard Nikki Free lets Goliath decide by putting her hands out, one for each team, and whichever hand he licks is the team to move forward. Completely fool-proof.

Yes, Nikki Free has completed her March Madness bracket and will be keeping her job at 46 Forum. And if she happens to win in the group brackets, well, Nikki Free isn’t going to keep the styrofoam Sports Desk Cup.

#funny #edgy #sportsdesk #jokes #comedy #marchmadness